Dealing with difficult people is common, whether in working environments, social environments, or family domains. One of the closest analogies to this is the Rubik’s Cube. It requires patience, and getting a grip on how several layers are interlinked is a huge part of understanding. You may end up frustrated because one twist did not work how you wanted, just as a meeting with tricky people can exhaust you and make you uncertain about what to do next. Yet the art of dealing with difficult interactions holds out the promise of healthier relationships and personal satisfaction. Here are five strategies to help you navigate similar encounters you might encounter someday.
1. Practice Active Listening
Your first step should be active listening when dealing with challenging people. You can think of it as an exercise in curiosity. You have to pay close attention to get that person’s view and not start responding while he is talking. This can considerably reduce the tension. For example, if your colleague is upset about the project delay, you should not advise them. Instead, you should ask questions such as, “What is bothering you about this delay?” This can start the conversation and let them open their thoughts to you.
Tips:
- Keep maintaining eye contact and nodding to show that you are interested.
- Restate key points to demonstrate that you are not just sitting there and listening to them.
- Put away your phones and close your laptops to avoid any distractions.
2. Put Yourself In Difficult People’s Shoes
Try to understand the situation from their perspective. Ask yourself, “If I was in their position, what might justify my behavior?” This way, you can understand one’s thoughts and intentions. For example, if your sibling is saying something critical, finding out they may feel insecure or threatened about something will help you respond compassionately. This does not mean you agree with them; it shows you’re willing to understand their feelings.
Tips:
- Use phrases like, “I can see why you feel this way” to validate their emotions.
- Reflect on your own experiences that may relate to their situation and feelings.
- Sometimes, to genuinely understand their perspective, you must practice patience.
3. Pay Attention To Your Reactions
Sometimes, the result of your interaction with challenging people relies a lot on your response to them. Before responding to them, take time off for a second and try to find what you feel – anger, frustration, confusion- to be in charge of yourself. For example, if some passer-by is too sarcastic of you, don’t say something equally sarcastic in return. But take a deep breath and respond calmly; for example, “I take your view but think I know why I am doing what I am doing till now.” Sometimes, it can soften the situation.
Tips:
- Practice techniques for mindfulness to improve your emotional regulation.
- Keeping a journal of your interaction can help you recognize reaction patterns.
- Use positive self-talk to reinforce calmness in your attitude before responding.
4. Shift The Focus To Problem-Solving
Instead of going all around when the conversation spins off track, you can steer their discussion towards a solution. You ensure the challenging person stays focused by requesting that he help you clarify or solve the problem by saying something like, “Can you help me understand what you think we could do to improve this situation?” and hence make the person feel valued and respected.
Tips:
- You can use collaborative words like “we” and “us”.
- Create a possible solution together to engage them in the process.
- Try to be open to their ideas, even if they seem unconventional.
5. Know When To Walk Away
Sometimes, you need to walk away from an interaction. It would be best to let go when you are in a negative cycle together. It is just the best thing to do. Sometimes, if a conversation is overheating or takes a bad turn with difficult people, you can say, “I think the best thing we can do at this point is pause and come back to it later.”.
Tips:
- Politely excuse yourself by saying you need to attend to something urgent.
- Use non-verbal communication, such as body language, to show you are ready to exit the conversation.
- Preparing a short speech for such situations can help you feel more confident about leaving.
Working with difficult people is challenging, but using the right strategies makes it possible to deal with the issues between you and them. Remember, while changing their behavior may not be in your hands, you can always control how you react and respond, leading to positive outcomes.
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